Neal’s deals, Neal’s deals—
If you want a deal, come and see Neal.
Some of Neal’s deals are really steals
And all of Neal’s deals are really unreal.
He’ll give you a deal on a non-swimming seal,
He’ll give you a deal on a pig that won’t squeal,
And if you’d like a no-engine automobile
Neal will make you a wonderful deal.

Neal’s deals, Neal’s deals—
You simply won’t find better deals than Neal’s.
He’ll give you a deal on a boot with no heel,
He’ll cut you a deal on a boat with no keel,
And if you’d consider a bike with one wheel,
Neal will make you a real sweet deal.

Neal’s deals, deals by Neal—
Would you like a deal on this half-eaten meal?
You’d catch lots of fish with this old rusty reel,
And if you need a balloon made of steel
Or a bell that won’t peal or a skunk named Camille,
Just come and see how terrific you feel
When you get a fabulous deal at Neal’s.